Love…And Fear

“People” say there are really only two emotions: Love and Fear.

What if there’s really only one, love, and the opposite side of its coin, fear?

The other thing “people” say – and this time I’m referencing social scientists who have done studies on this – is that we fear losing something more than we love gaining it or something else that would move us out of our comfort zone. Admittedly, this often refers to results in the stock market, but I think it often applies to other things as well.

We fear losing a friendship more than we’re willing to make the effort to be clearly, gently, honest about something that would deepen our connection. We fear making a change to our lives that would make it different and wonderful more than we’re willing to lose a life of the safe, predictable, same-old same-old. We fear trying to find a new job that suits us better more than we fear staying in a comfortable job that currently pays us just enough and makes our eyes roll daily with boredom.

We hold onto things that we’re familiar with, that are predictable, that are in our comfort zone, rather than take the chance of trying something new and different that may or may not work out.

What if every fear had an answering love? What if every love showed us our fear?

We love our friends – we fear their judgment, or that they will disappear.

We love our pets – we know they will probably die before we do.

We are afraid of trying something new – it could show us a whole new thing to become passionate about.

We fear change – we could love the result and find it more fulfilling than we ever imagined. And if that doesn’t happen, what have we learned about ourselves? How have we grown as a result?

Either side of the coin that we regard gives us opportunities to look at the opposite side and wonder, or try something. Thought experiments might be useful. Starting small (actually teeny, tiny steps) definitely is. Tracking our attempts, our hopes, our fears, our other feelings during the process, and our results gives us information about ourselves that is invaluable over time.

What do you fear? What do you love? What can you learn about yourself from getting specific and finding out?

Photo by: Sharath G / Pexels

Definitely not two sides of a coin, but a cool picture anyway ;>)