Usually, when we talk about compassion, we’re talking about it in relation to giving it to others – humans and animals. What if we gave it to ourselves as well?

One of the three daily practices for coaches and students of Fearless Living is compassion, along with honesty and personal responsibility. In fact, it’s the first among equals for a very real reason – as human beings we tend to be very hard on ourselves, to put ourselves down, to excoriate ourselves for our actions, or lack of action, our speech, our beliefs, our internal lives, our interactions with other people.

Most of the ideas and definitions of compassion I read when I was considering this essay had to do with having compassion for the suffering of other people, for nature, for other beings. And that is a good thing for the world, for us to have compassion for others and to desire to alleviate their suffering. Since we are part of the world, part of nature, could we not also benefit from compassion for ourselves? Do we not also suffer?

We could. We do.

What are the elements of compassion for ourselves that we could tease apart, identify, and use as needed?

I believe compassion for ourselves is made up, to some degree, of kindness, recognizing our common humanity, being mindful of both our aspirations and ability to meet them, and a dollop of forgiveness for judging ourselves.

We strive and sometimes fail. We reach for perfection, knowing it’s impossible yet feeling it’s necessary somehow, and fail. We beat ourselves up for not knowing enough, doing enough, or being enough. What if we were able to give ourselves compassion for all of that? What would our lives be like then?

Maybe, with a consistent practice of self-compassion, we could better enjoy our progress toward our aspirations and goals in teeny, tiny steps forward, of being who we are as part of humanity and a circle of friends, of being our unique individual selves with gifts for the world.

What would that look like for you? How could you use your compassion for yourself to master fear?

Photo by: Alexas Fotos / Pexels